I'm getting really tired of people. Like angrily tired. Mostly I'm tired of people spouting the gospel and claiming it as true. I mean really. They weren't there when it happened! They don't know all the details! They didn't know that Jessi and I were actually chicks! How do you really get that wrong?!
OK. Little rant is over. I reigned down some fire on that, but I'm ok now. I guess I should let some of the minions know about that fire in sector 4. They get a little testy with me when I set things on fire and don't tell them. But it's not like they can really do anything to me if I "forget" to tell them. The worst they can do to me is just yell. Whereas the worst I can do to them is you know, set them on fire and turn them into little burnt offerings to me cat. I think he'd like them...
So I know it's been about a week since I fist started posting here, but you can't really expect me to post every day. I mean, come on. I do have things to destroy and people to mess with.
Have you ever really watched that thing on the television where it's a guy standing in front of a big crowd preaching about "God"? I have. And I have to say that everyone out there who watches that tripe can and will seriously go to Hell. That's right. I said it. You're all going to Hell where I've got a special room reserved just for you. And in this room you will find nothing but the unpleasantness of listening to a Pairs Hilton CD being repeatedly played over the sound system, the most uncomfortable chairs in existence, and the annoying guy who smacks his gum all day long.
I'm tired of people blaming me for every little thing that go wrong and then praising "God" every time something goes right. I may be the devil and all that, but I can do some thing right. Like the guy who invented the Internet. Yeah. That was from me. And how about the person who figured out sex. Oh yeah. That was me too. I was the one who made it cool. And that was while I was still fucking around in heaven before that punk-ass got pissed because I made humans to play with and entertain me and not him. *pish* He just didn't understand the concept.
Where do people get the idea that I made gay people to anger "God". That's as far from the truth as ever. I needed a few guys to go shopping with one day and thought "Hey, why not make a guy who shops like a girl and has great fashion sense?!" And so I did. I made me a whole group of them. And then they went out and converted other people and said it was OK and all that. But I'm cool with the gays. I love 'em. And I think everyone should love 'em too. I am not whispering into the ears of some of those freaky religious people (I try and stay as far away as I can from them) telling them to be haters.
So I've heard that there's a bunch of stuff going on up here. And by "up here" I mean above my realm. Up here on Earth. Sure I get digital cable in Hell, but sometimes you just have to come up and take a look for yourself.
But yes. Back to the beginning.
Ruler of Hell.
Yes, yes. I know most of you know me as Lucifer but that was just a mistake.
I am a woman.
Well, at least I was about 15 minutes ago. I should probably check again just to make sure. And I was right. I am a woman. And I know people keep getting it wrong and they keep insisting that I'm a man, but really, you'd think I know for sure.
Stop insisting that I'm something I'm not.
Just get over it!
I've come up to Earth to have a look around. It's been 326 years since I've been up here so I thought it might be about time to make an appearance . Don't get me wrong, I know about the things that have been happening in the last 300+ years, I'm not an idiot. And I figured that to fit in I might want to invest in this thing called a "blog" and try it out for a bit.
Read it or not, I couldn't care. Just be aware that in the end I will own your soul.
That is all.